Thursday, July 25, 2013

"Cleetus Ferbderbler, Boy Improvisor, Quells Insurrection"

Dear Everyone,

Last night at my new job counseling recovering drug addicts, there was a smidgeon of  unpleasantness.

Big Spike (his real name, by the way), who, during the day is a highly respected member of some
commodities trading firm, raised his hand.

  I interrupted my recounting of my hellish 4 hours kicking H to acknowledge him.

"Yes?" I said coolly.
"No offense, Chief, but exactly how long were you riding the white pony?"
"Well, Big Spike, it's a little hard to keep track of time when you're in that condition..."
"Because according to JUNKIE, which you read to us for about nine hours yesterday..."
"See what I mean, B. S. ? It was actually no longer than 25 or 30 minutes..."
"It takes two hits a day for two months to DEVELOP a habit: page 115."

The group looked at me dubiously; junkies are so paranoid.

"Inflation, B.S.  That book was written in the '50's, when eggs were 2 cents apiece; things have changed.  Now you can get hooked, seek help and kick in ten days."

The group nodded; I had regained my authority.  B.S. slunk out.

STAY TUNED! and D.A.R.E.!


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