Dear Everyone,
I am in a quandary. After the unpleasantness with a certain Chicago institution famous for "satire" and "comedy," I immediately founded an experimental theater company. After our first seven hour rehearsal, a schism occurred, but I was not embittered: If some people are so lazy and uncouth as to begrudge an auteur a mere seven hours of "Zip, Zap, Zop," it is their loss.
"Vaya con dios," I say, although my beliefs run along the agnostic side.
Lately, it has seemed necessary to return to school. Therefore, I emailed my father for funds.
He called immediately.
"Cleetus, you moron, what is this nonsense about going back to school?"
I detected the pride hidden in his gruff demeanour.
"Yes, Father. Clearly, a PhD is all this credential crazy world respects."
"In what?"
"Puppetry."
There was a very strange sound at the other end.
I wonder when he will send the $40,000.
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