Cleetus Ferbderbler, Boy Improvisor, Announces New Style!

Dear Everyone:

As a taste-maker and opinion influencer, I take my responsibilities very seriously.

Therefore, after long consideration, I announce the following NEW STYLE:

MUTTONCHOP WHISKERS.

I have spoken.

Cleetus Ferbderbler, Boy Improvisor, Discovers Shocking Working Conditions at Clothing Factory

Dear Everyone Who Loves Edgy, Yet Affordable Clothing:

As some of you know, I recently founded a clothing line:

CFBI
(that is, Cleetus Ferbderbler, Boy Improvisor).

Committed as I am to responsible, sustainable stuff, I visited the place where my edgy, yet affordable garments are made, to make sure the place was A--OK.  

Shocking; just shocking:

1. The building was light and airy.  There was a pastry tray in evidence.
2. The place was staffed by dozens of Northwestern grads, idling around, drinking coffee, joking, checking their "smart" phones. 
3. No wonder my profit margins are well below industry averages!

I am looking into shifting production to Tijuana, Mexico, as soon as I can figure out what "sweatshop" is in Spanish.

Cleetus Ferbderbler, Boy Improvisor, on Serious Flaws in the Banking System

Dear Everyone,

Thanks to all who have offered to invest in

                             CFBI

my new line of fashion.  My meeting with the "bankers" at a certain well-known "bank" revealed a tragic lack of vision on their part. 

Next time I will certainly bring some papers in folders; perhaps a chart or two?  Graphs? 
Their characterization of my presentation as "free association bordering on the pathological" I
thought was rather rude. 

I can look back on yesterday now and laugh a light laugh; yesterday,  I gave serious thought to joining the Occupy Movement.

Stay tuned!

Cleetus Ferbderbler, Boy Improvisor, Announces New Fashion Line

Dear Everyone,

I am thrilled to announce a new fashion line:

         CFBI

 (for, "Cleetus Ferbderbler, Boy Improvisor").

It will be edgy, yet classic; affordable, yet wildly profitable.

The garments will be made humanely, but very cheaply, by interns.

 

I have a meeting with some visionary venture capitalists at

Chase Bank next week.   My attorney:

                                                                Tom King Clear,

                                           has advised me to ask for "as much as possible."

                                                                     Stay tuned!

Cleetus Ferbderbler, Boy Improvisor, announces JOY!

Dear Everyone,
Please ignore the last posting.  All is well in loveland.   The light of my life, GAIA SHALOM NAMASTE, has returned to me.

(By the way, her real name is Becky Johnson.  This is one of the confidences we exchanged during our reconciliation.  I guess it's not much of a confidence if I just blogged about it, but, you know what I mean).

It turns out her Bikram yoga lover was a real stinker:  He accused her of being "insincere" and "not going fully into the poses."

What a douche.  I happen to know his real name is Harvey McAllister, and his only yoga training is online.

Anyhoo, am deliriously happy---we're going out for bar-b-que and giving up the natural lifestyle for awhile.