Cleetus Ferbderbler, Boy Improvisor, Renounces Love Forever

Dear Everyone,

I apologize in advance if this post is less lucid and compelling than usual.  I write through a fog of tears, with a broken heart.

In short, the love of my life (so far), GAIA SHALOM NAMASTE, has left me for a part-time Bikram yoga instructor.

I was completely unprepared---I somehow missed the warning signs, viz., the little frowns, the impatient tapping of the toe while I was recounting some improv TRIUMPH, the number of times she called me an idiot (approximately 350, as of last week).

The final straw that broke my loving camel's back was last Tuesday.  We were doing a little evening meditation when she announced, "Cleetus.  You idiot.  Are you aware that you have been humming Bohemian Rhapsody for the last 20 minutes?"

Well, one thing led to another, and 10 minutes later, I heard about the part-time Bikram yoga instructor.

Ladies, guess who's free!

Cleetus Ferbderbler, Boy Improvisor, Starts Band

Dear Everyone,

I'm thrilled to announce the formation of the band that America and English-speaking parts of the world have been waiting for:

THE CLEETUS FERBDERBLER B$ND.

I'm moving to Los Angeles this summer, and a band is sort of a prerequisite.  We will have very intense rehearsals and issue manifestos.  We will only tour by bike (the love of my life, Gaia Shalom Namaste, insists on this----the earth is a very good friend of hers).

We will refuse to license our music to heartless corporations that do bad things, but only to craft breweries with integrity.

Gaia Shalom Namaste and I will, of course, be the core of the band, but we will be conducting very long auditions to find others who share our VISION and actually play some instruments or sing or something.

(Speaking of the love of my life, an amusing incident occurred the other evening at Trader Joes's:  We were shopping for organic tabouleh, and were looking in different aisles.  I found it first, and called rather loudly:  "GAIA SHALOM NAMASTE!" 
Three people responded, "SAME TO YOU!")

Cleetus Ferbderbler, Boy Improvisor, in Love

Dear Everyone,

 My 27 years have been mere existence----now I see the point of life. 

  It is love.  

Her name is Gaia Shalom Namaste.  She is perfection.  I weep humble tears of gratitude that we met while I was sweeping the front steps of a certain well-known "comedy" school in Chicago which thinks I still owe them $2975 from a certain tour of a certain Asian dictatorship.

But, I will not entertain negative thoughts.  Gaia has explained the concept of karma to me, and the power of positive thinking.

(Her multiple degrees are in the fields of peace studies and, strangely enough, martial arts.)
She is also a very fine waitress.

I must be off----we're starting a juice cleanse.

(By the way, keep tuned: I'm thinking of changing my name to something more inspirational, such "Mandala."  Mandala Ferbderbler---it has a ring to it!).

Cleetus Ferbderbler, Boy Improvisor, announces new Kickstarter Campaign

Dear Everyone in the World Who Loves Improv and All Things Good:

Those of you who follow my career know that recently I returned from a phenomenomally successful tour of North Korea.  I was thrilled to be part of a tremendously talented group from a very well-known Chicago comedy powerhouse of the '70's and '80's.

I was less thrilled to be presented with a bill for $3000 when I got back; exchange rate troubles.  It happens---look at poor little Iceland.

Therefore, I am now announcing a Kickstarter Campaign:
Step one: Raise $533.00 for Cleetus' rent.
Step two: Raise $75.00 for Cleetus' phone bill.

I am offering tremendously thrilling perks like:
A tour of my apartment, whenever my seven roomates are out.
A T--shirt!  You may pick any one I own, if it's clean.

COME!  JOIN THE PASSION!