Cleetus Ferbderbler, Boy Mortgage Banker

Dear Everyone,

After my stint in the House of Representatives, interning for Rep. Flutesnoot (Staunch Independent), I took my sterling academic credentials (Valdosta Community College, certificate pending), and my glowing recommendation from the Hon. Flutesnoot ("Please give this man a job"), and joined Countrywide Mortgage.   It was a very exciting time in the company's history!

• My first afternoon there, I approved all of Maricopa County for jumbo mortgages!
• My assistant was some sort of robot contraption that did all sorts of interesting things, at the touch of a button!
• We held sales meetings at the Mauna Lani, in Hawaii----every Friday!

I'll never forget the day I invented the Double Reverse Credit Repo Swap:
As I later explained to the House Subcommittee on Financial Fraud, it was a combination of inspiration, hard work, and several typographical errors.
It didn't work exactly as planned, since every mortgage lost value every time a payment was made, or a payment was missed; in fact, it was kind of a disaster.

However, I was still pursuing my dream!

Next:    my stint at Lehman Brothers!

Cleetus Ferbderbler, Political Memoirs

Dear Everyone,

First, I want to give a shout out to all my loyal followers (same to you, Inmate #409889, Menard Correctional Institute!).

It has indeed been awhile since I've posted, but yours truly has not been idle!
I've started my memoirs!

Today, My Time on The Hill:
Between Valdosta Community College (BA, cooking and improv), I was thrilled to be accepted as a Congressional intern, in the actual Congress!  Our Representative, Rep. Flutesnoot (Independent), put me immediately to work drafting legislation.

I'll never forget how he called me into his palatial office, and greeted me whilst reclining on a silken divan,
"Cleetus, you idiot."

"Yes, honorable Representative?"

"Why the heck did you put 'established by the state' in this healthcare malarkey?"
"Filled out the line; seemed inoffensive."
"Alright, but be sure to call it an exercise of the commerce power and not a tax."

to be continued..........................................................................................