Cleetus Ferbderbler, Returns!

Cleetus Ferbderbler, Former Boy Improvisor, Speaks!


Dear everyone,
I recently went down to a certain well- known comedy school, best known for expelling several famous comedians.

"Well, Cleetus," said Ms. Klisterschmuck, formerly director of touring and now interim Director of Irony and Prop Humor.
"You look a little different."

"Yes, Ms. Klisterschmuck, 14 months captivity with ISIS will do that."

"Well, take your turban off and have a seat."


"This is no social visit, Klisterschmuck. My so-called improv comedy tour in war-torn Syria was not a success."

"Well, that's show biz."

"For fourteen months, except for Ramadan, I have been fielding  some very challenging improv suggestions: basically, crucifixion and beheading."

"Opportunity to hone your skills!"

"Then, there's the matter of my per diem."

"Of course, as you have known since the North Korean debacle, the per diem is calculated in the local currency."

"ISIS uses blocks of salt."

"Exactly: please arrange to go by Morton's and pick up yours. They need the space."

I gathered my turban and scimitar: "Good day, Klisterschmuck. I shall have to think very carefully before accepting any further improv comedy tours."

"Ferbderbler, you have paid your dues: how about teaching for us?"

YES! LIVING THE DREAM! STAY TUNED!

Cleetus Ferbderbler, Boy Mortgage Banker

Dear Everyone,

After my stint in the House of Representatives, interning for Rep. Flutesnoot (Staunch Independent), I took my sterling academic credentials (Valdosta Community College, certificate pending), and my glowing recommendation from the Hon. Flutesnoot ("Please give this man a job"), and joined Countrywide Mortgage.   It was a very exciting time in the company's history!

• My first afternoon there, I approved all of Maricopa County for jumbo mortgages!
• My assistant was some sort of robot contraption that did all sorts of interesting things, at the touch of a button!
• We held sales meetings at the Mauna Lani, in Hawaii----every Friday!

I'll never forget the day I invented the Double Reverse Credit Repo Swap:
As I later explained to the House Subcommittee on Financial Fraud, it was a combination of inspiration, hard work, and several typographical errors.
It didn't work exactly as planned, since every mortgage lost value every time a payment was made, or a payment was missed; in fact, it was kind of a disaster.

However, I was still pursuing my dream!

Next:    my stint at Lehman Brothers!

Cleetus Ferbderbler, Political Memoirs

Dear Everyone,

First, I want to give a shout out to all my loyal followers (same to you, Inmate #409889, Menard Correctional Institute!).

It has indeed been awhile since I've posted, but yours truly has not been idle!
I've started my memoirs!

Today, My Time on The Hill:
Between Valdosta Community College (BA, cooking and improv), I was thrilled to be accepted as a Congressional intern, in the actual Congress!  Our Representative, Rep. Flutesnoot (Independent), put me immediately to work drafting legislation.

I'll never forget how he called me into his palatial office, and greeted me whilst reclining on a silken divan,
"Cleetus, you idiot."

"Yes, honorable Representative?"

"Why the heck did you put 'established by the state' in this healthcare malarkey?"
"Filled out the line; seemed inoffensive."
"Alright, but be sure to call it an exercise of the commerce power and not a tax."

to be continued..........................................................................................

#Night and Day

I love Soundcloud!

I also love requests!

Cleetus Ferbderbler, Boy Improvisor, Returns to the Stage


Dear Everyone in the world, and especially my three loyal followers:

I have returned to the stage, my first passion.
It is very important to follow your passion, or, in my case, to follow one of your passion(s) until your heart is BROKEN by the materialistic and very confusing "scene" in Los Angeles, and then go and follow another passion(s).

However, I will be positive...

I am thrilled to announce that I am now a member of a new theatre collective in Chicago:
                                            The New "Old" Theat$r.
(This world-class ensemble was forged out of the remains of 32 defunct theaters, and the closing of few mental health clinics.   Rahm's shame, but our good fortune!)


We are in the thick of rehearsals for our groundbreaking production of 12 Angry Men. 
Finally, this neglected masterpiece will receive the treatment it deserves!  However, we cannot afford to pay for the "rights," so we are doing a hacktevist version called:

                                            

 

 "12 Justifiably Angry LGBTQ's or GLBTQ's,

                                                                    because White MEN    

have                                                                                              

NO RIGHT to be Angry About Anything, After the Way They Have Behaved"

Our visionary director is Lola Van Whitney Sloan, (called "eyecatching" by the important theater blog, "People I know in the Theater").

We will perform in the abandoned Brach's Candy factory;
we will have 12 hour rehearsals;
we will  have a cast of 144 women, transgendered folk, guest artists from Guatemala, and most important:

Every 11 minutes, the audience will move with us a new space in the cavernous ruins, representing the plight of displaced persons everywhere.

To the estate!

#Tom Clear | Access Contemporary Music - Modern Classical

Tom Clear | Access Contemporary Music - Modern Classical



Summer camps:  Recorder Boot Camp

Beginning Group Guitar

Opera in August----Purcell's The Fairy Queen

Cleetus Ferbderbler, Boy Improvisor, Returns to Normal World from Los Angeles

Dear Everyone in the World Who Loves Improv and Pursuing your Passion:

Well, whatever you do, don't go to Los Angeles.  Seriously, you can have your heart broken at home for free...

My first day there, I got an agent, three auditions and a drug habit.  As anyone who followed my terrifying descent into drug addiction (July 26--28th, 2013) can tell you, the white pony can really mess you up the most.

Actually, the drug habit was the high point of my sojourn.
After 6 months in Los Angeles, I had had:

3786 auditions;
9643 "meetings" (one violent);
182 roomates,
and 3.5 minutes of work.

So, I have moved back to Chicago and have decided to become a Russian oligarch.  It was a childhood dream, and now it's time to make it come true!